STOP YOUR PRESSES AND HOLD ON TO WHATEVER YOU CAN, PEOPLE! BECAUSE WHAT I’M ABOUT TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW IS NOT SOME LAUNDRY GOSSIP, IT’S THE ATOMIC BOMB THAT JUST DROPPED ON MIRAFLORES AND HAS HALF THE WORLD WITH THEIR JAWS ON THE GROUND.
EXPLOSIVE HEADLINE: THE DICTATOR’S SHOWDOWN! CONFIRMED: CILIA FLORES, THE “FIRST COMBATANT,” GIVES MADURO THE BLOWOUT AND LEAVES HIM SHOCKED. THE BETRAYAL NO ONE SAW COMING, UNCOVERING THE REGIME’S FINAL SEWER!
